Monday, October 24, 2011

We have a One Year Old!!

Gosh, I can't believe our little girl is 1!!! It seems like yesterday that I was in the hospital giving birth to our precious miracle. It seems like only yesterday that I learned out I was pregnant with our little girl. I remember the moment I discovered I was pregnant. It was 18 months ago, that I was having a rough time trying to make it through a day. Rosie and I were constantly butting heads, she was a tough bugger to crack to fully open up to me. It took months and months, no years, for us to have we have now. At that point she had a great relationship with Nate, but didn't want to get near me. Constantly said she hated me and i didn't know how to handle it that my daughter didn't love me. I want' feeling myself, something wasn't right with my body. I felt awful all the time and it was like flu. I felt quesy in the morning and soooo utterly exhausted by 2 o clock in the afternoon AND talk about emotional. 9 months before that I would have instantly thought I was pregnant, but that didn't cross my mind instantly in this case. It took about 4 weeks for me to finally think in my head maybe I should take a pregnancy test. I didn't tell Nate, because of course this was absurd, i mean we had tried to get pregnant FOREVER and it never worked out. So I had a left over pregnancy test under the sink and after I dropped Rosie off at preschool I took a test. 3 minutes of by and there is two pink lines. I go through shock, and then severe terror. I am already at my wits end and have more than I can handle and NOW I get pregnant. Is this real? I immediately call Nate at work and tell him the good/bad news. At this point it hasn't sunk in. I am riding a roller coaster of emotions. But after talking and calming down over a few days it settles in that I am really pregnant. AND then the fear of losing the pregnancy sinks in. UGH... it's amazing that I even survived the 9 months. We and so many fears..... are we going to be able to carry this baby full term? are the other kids going to be negatively affected by a baby? if we lose the baby and tell the kids how will losing one more thing going to feel to them? how can we add one more child to our family and share the love? It was a crazy 9 months but in the end we had a miracle and GOD had a plan in store for us. No one could believe that this story of our life actually happened but it DID!!! AND LIL MISS came into our lives. The kids couldn't love her anymore and they adjusted amazingly well to having a little sister. We have been blessed beyond belief. I feel like I don't deserve all the wondrous things that the Lord has bestowed on me, but I am utterly grateful. I wouldn't change lives with anyone in the world.
And now that lil baby girl is ONE! I can't believe it. She has grown amazingly in the last 12 months... she is walking, has 8 sharp teeth, in 12 - 18 months clothing, she says dada, momma, bubba, baba (bottle) and is getting quite a personality. She completes our family and we love her.

Happy Birthday Baby Girl!!!

Here's to many more years of making our life sparkle!!

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