Being a Voice

In December 2013, I came across Ali Edwards and her blog for word of the year. 

She calls it her One Little Word. 

I was instantly intrigued.  

I embraced this new way of taking on New Year's Resolutions.  

Not setting goals, that sadly I end up falling short of year after year,

but using a word to navigate you through a year.  Push you in mysterious ways.

I was inspired by her words and way of finding meaning in this one little word throughout the year. 

In 2013, after contemplating and really over thinking it I chose my word.... SPARK. 

I had my word posted so I would see it every day and the word's meaning 

transformed over the course of the year.  I was ambitious and energetic seeing 

how my life, from new hobbies to my faith really did spark throughout the year. 

{read my 2013 thoughts here}

In 2014, my word was LIFE. 

I really wanted to have a cool word, but as January approached and I reflected 

on 2013 and looked to what I saw in 2014 this word kept being in the forefront. 

The first thing on my list for 2014 was to take care of me.  

I had been neglecting myself and putting all my energy in taking care of my family. 

I am ashamed to admit it, but until last year I hadn't been to a Doctor since we moved to the 

Quad Cities.  I hadn't seen a gynecologist since I had Lily.  Sad truth. 

So 2014 was to take care of me and take care of my LIFE. 

I finally got a physical, have a family doctor for the hubs and I, 

saw a gynecologist (ugh, pap smear), and here's the kicker took time for myself. 

I found myself taking more mommy breaks. 

(Hello, trip to the Mediterranean)

Saying "yes" to more Mom's night out.

Not feeling guilty for going on a run over the weekend when hubs was home.

I actually shocked myself when I ran 500 miles this year.  

I couldn't have done that in the past... I wouldn't have found it necessary. 

But taking care of me has become as much of a priority as taking care of my family. 

This year 2015, my chosen one little word is VOICE. 

I am looking forward to seeing how this word appears and directs me in 2015. 

Discovering my voice and being a voice for others. 

Keeping Shel Silverstein's poem in my head this year,

I am ready for a year of more personal growth. 

Being a better wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, and human being.

That is what I am striving for.  

And I will run 500 miles...

I did it! 

I mean I've run two half marathons, but did I think I could run 500 miles in one year.. 

not really. 

But I did it.  

I ran my last 3 miles yesterday on my birthday. 

A beautiful way to end my 33rd year.  

On my usual route from our house, I have passed this faint 500 

spray painted on the sidewalk so many times.  

It was a constant reminder of the goal I had set for 2014. 

Something I thought was impossible, but I have recently pushed myself pass the unthinkable. 

500 miles. 

 I have to admit, many times I told myself to quit. 

My body said to quit.  It hurt, my body ached and still aches.

I have thrown up on this path to 500 miles. (a couple of times)

I've walked many of the miles, just because I didn't think I could run any more, but didn't stop. 

Strength isn't measured by what you can do though, 

it is all about conquering what you once thought was impossible! 

I'm ready for my 500 mile jacket. 

I did it. 

Goal Accomplished

Never in a million years would I think I would have completed a half marathon and now look at me.

I have completed two!!!! I truly can't believe it. It wasn't easy, but how many things this rewarding

come without a lot of hard work.

 

Thanks to the encouragement of my sister I finished the race in 2:48 officially. Last year was better, but I had planned on that because I was so much more dedicated last year. I also don't know how my Nike+ app got a full mile off when I crossed the finish line. (on my app I completed 14.22 in 2:52) Who knows? I finished. I overheard another runner talking before the race that this was their first race not trying to place or win and she didn't know how she would motivate herself. I was at no point, I say never ever in a million years, going to win anything. My only race was the race with myself. I had to fight my body to go through any pain to keep going. I had to fight my mind in thinking that it would be so much easier if I would just turn and do the quarter. It was a constant battle the whole 13.1 miles.

The three of us looking pretty before we headed down to the race. I was still waking up.

Right before the start gun went off with lots of people huddled together trying to stretch out. If you have never run in a organized race like this, the crowd helped me fight the little voice in my head telling me to stop running. Whenever I would start to run out of wind and energy I would pass a group of spectators and they would shout encouragement. With my name on my bib, I would be struggling to keep my feet moving and would hear "you're doing great, Lynn" from a random stranger and get a little boost in my step. I have to thank all of those strangers along the route who took the time to encourage all of us in the race not just the ones they came to watch. You helped me finish. The sign that said "Run Stranger Run" helped put a smile on my face too!

Around mile 9, I passed a girl on a gurney getting oxygen and I had that brief moment of anxiety hoping that wouldn't be me. But I kept my head up and kept moving. Yes, I walked at certain points and if that makes me less of a half marathoner than so be it. To me that didn't matter.

Here is my shot after I crossed the finish line. It's not pretty. Every mile I ran is etched on my face in the form of sweat, dirt, and exhaustion. I gave it my all.

The proudest moment is when we got back to the house and the kids were excited to see mommy's medal and fought over who got to wear it. Bubba even put all my gear on and said "Hey, I am a runner like mommy!" That was my proud moment. Being a good healthy role model for my kids and showing them when there is something that you think you will never be able to do with hardwork you can accomplish anything.

So here today I sit typing away wearing my half marathon shirt. I still don't feel like a "runner" but I did it and no one can take that away from me.

Goal accomplished!!

 

Being Truthful Hurts

Okay I am nervous. 

Beyond nervous, I am getting a little scared. 

See, it is T minus 9 weeks until the 1/2 marathon I am running in.

I am insane.

Who signed me up for this SECOND 1/2 marathon?

This year I can't blame it on my sister conning me into it.

It was all ME and I am only to blame. 

{I am not one of those girls who glows when sweating. I look like a wet dog.}

 

If you would have asked me the day after the Cap City 1/2 marathon

last year if I was going to run another 1/2 marathon, I would have said No.

If you would have asked me 3 months later if I was going to run it again, I would have said No. 

September came and I picked up my running shoes again and opened the Nike Running app I use and it informed me that it had been 104 days since my last run. 

Yes ladies, I had stopped running completely after I crossed that finish line.

It was like starting back at square one.  I could barely run a mile. 

Seriously after running 13.1 miles only 3 months before, I was out of shape and back to my old self. 

{keeping hydrated}

 

So I started to run again. 

Not anything consistent, but I would strap Lil Miss into the jogging stroller and run to work up a good sweat.  For me, I don't have to go far to work up a sweat.  LOL

I didn't fall in love with running, but I got back in the swing of things. 

About November I started thinking about the 1/2 marathon again and played with the idea of maybe, just MAYBE, I would sign up one more time. 

My thoughts were "I've done it once, I can do it again."

Not a good mind set. 

I started "training" which I can hardly call it that, because I was not running consistently and postponing runs because of sick children, sick mommy, too much to do, too cold, any excuse you name it. 

To make matters worse, we have had very cold weather and lots of snow. 

I would much rather run outside than anywhere else but I am clumsy and don't even chance it if it is slippery.  There have been a few times I have ended with my face in the mud.  Literally.

So I have to take my butt to the gym and run on the track or treadmill. 

Which would be great, if my baby wouldn't start bawling as soon as we pull into the YMCA parking lot.  It's like she knows mommy really needs to get a run in and she is going to see how dedicated I am. Sadly she wins most of the time. 

I hate being the mommy bringing the screaming/crying child and pulling her little fingers off of my coat and running for the door.  What a bad mommy!!!

I hear her cries of "hold me" and melt.  Wimp.

So if I can't run outside in 8 degree weather and 12" of snow and can't go to the gym without Lil Miss giving me fits, I am stuck at home thinking I need to be running..... but not.

{I go round and round in circles on the track at the gym}

 

So now it is 9 weeks away and I am freaking out!!

I have been running the last 3 weeks on a schedule, but as life would have it I've been sick and the kids have been sick more than any other time in my life.  Of course. 

It hit me really hard when a week ago, I talking about going to Columbus for the race and my husband responded "you are running in it?"

Okay, my husband is usually sleeping when I go out running in the morning, but if he isn't seeing me dedicated into this training I have a problem. 

 

So I am putting this out there, because I am going to really kick it into gear. 

My only goal for this year was to run the whole thing, which I didn't do last year. 

NOW my goal is just to complete it like I did last year. 

Those are my expectations. 

Nothing spectacular but this girl is not a runner.

I am a fat girl pretending I can run.

 

So the excuses stop now and I am doing this thing. 

The truth hurts that I am not where I want to be on this running journey so

I may need motivation and encouragement along the way because life is well, LIFE.

Let's see what I can do!!!